We swore we’d travel, darling, side by side. We’d help each other stay in stride. But each lover’s steps fall so differently. I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind, wait for me.

Bruce Springsteen

If you’ve come here as a partner in an intimate relationship, The Power of Nurture offers ideas to enhance the quality of your connection. Because adult relationships are built on the same social and emotional templates developed in our early ones, we can examine how these earlier experiences shaped our expectations, perceptions, and behavior patterns with our intimate others. We also have the ability to understand how these processes operate for our partner and make lasting change for the better.

Crucial to our understanding is this: these dynamics generally operate outside our conscious awareness and the behaviors we adopt as a result can appear to be something very different (like slamming a door during an argument or dodging a conversation about an unpleasant topic). Fortunately, as we understand more about how these patterns show up in our intimate relationship, we are in a better position to increase safety for ourselves and our partners and hence, the quality of our relationship.

Note that the sense of security we are discussing is not literal – partners who abuse or threaten our physical safety and well-being belong in another category entirely outside this scope. Rather, when we talk about safety and security in The Power of Nurture, we are referring to deeply embedded psychological constructs that began to develop in our earliest relationships and continued to be built across the span of our development. When we have a better grasp on how these schemas play out in our adult relationships, we can begin to find ways to enhance our ongoing sense of security with our partner, while also offering our partner a better sense of safety from our responses. It becomes a win-win for the relationship.

If we work together, you can expect some or all of the following services:

• An initial conversation to explore what is concerning you about your partnership
• A consultation visit to complete histories on each partner’s early and intimate relationship experience as well as current strengths and challenges
• An evaluative assessment report summarizing key findings
• A follow-up visit to discuss security-enhancing recommendations tailored to your particular dynamic
• Ongoing coaching or relationship support as needed and agreed upon

Knowing how to create safety and security in an adult relationship is a work in progress for most of us. The resources in The Power of Nurture can help you explore what you naturally do well as a couple and where you can stand to make improvements. Contact me today to learn more.